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What's the difference between a wedding and a marriage?


What’s the difference between a Wedding and a Marriage? More than you can probably imagine!


If you’re planning a wedding, then you tend to focus on the day, but that day is just a point on a journey; a journey that began when you were both born and will only end when you die. The bit of that journey that you spend together is the marriage, but it’s vital to remember that it is created out of the life journeys of the two people involved. That might sound obvious, but let me explain.


Think back to the day you realised that he or she was the one. Where was your life at? What were you up to career wise, friendship wise, life wise? What has changed in you so that now you can’t imagine not being together for the rest of your lives? That change, that shift was a moment of birth. That was when The Marriage was born.


Like any newborn, this infant marriage needed tender loving care and constant nurture. Soon it began to develop a personality, a kind of life of its own. Maybe you got so used to it being around that you started to take it for granted, it was just there, your new normal. And this is where the danger lies.


A wedding is a moment in time, whereas a marriage is a living thing. We can fixate on the wedding whilst the marriage is starving hungry and thirsty.


Paradoxically, it’s only when the marriage is well fed and nourished that the wedding has any meaning.


So, if you are in the throws of wedding fever, here’s some tips:

  • Pay attention to, talk about and celebrate the journey so far. Be open about your mistakes and be ready to share what they taught you.

  • Remember the joy you felt when your relationship was newborn and notice how it’s changed and matured.

  • Remember to feed and nurture The Marriage. Just like you and me it can become hungry, thirsty, anxious and tired.


If you follow these tips, then not only will your relationship feel stronger, but you’ll also ensure that the wedding is a sparkling success!


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